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The Beautiful, The Bloody And The Bare
[Something Weird / Image]
1964; color
Directed by Sande N. Johnsen
Starring: Jack Lowe, Brad Scott & Mai Dey
Behind Locked Doors
[Something Weird / Image]
1968; color
Directed by Charles Romine
Starring: Joyce Danner, Eve Reeves & Daniel Garth
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As I have pointed out oh so many times in the past, in my capacity as a film reviewer I have seen many a SWV feature; not to mention many a SWV double feature. Despite this fact, I never cease to be amazed at their offerings. And, as much as I appreciate the fact that they've allowed me, and folks like me, to familiarize themselves with the work of such "famous" directors as Herschell Gordon Lewis, Doris Wishman, Ted V. Mikels, etc. I have to say that the farther you delve into the depths of their catalog, the more there is to learn about the history of exploitation film. One thing I've definitely gleaned from my self-imposed independent study is that back in the day (the day, in this case, referring to the '60s & '70s) ANYBODY could make a movie - and so many did! Who would think any of these films would still be in circulation, let alone written about, forty years later? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no one. Yet, here we are. Since we are here, I suppose we should get on to the part where I actually write about the films. The first entry in this double feature, The Beautiful, The Bloody And The Bare, comes to us from the same man behind the lens of Teenage Gang Debs, a somewhat better known film, also available from SWV. (Paired with the aptly titled Teen-age Strangler for DVD release, natch.) Lest you think Sande N. Johnsen is a one trick pony, let me assure you this film has nothing to do with the rough and tumble world of high school delinquency. This film takes place in New York City and revolves around the rough and tumble world of nudie photography which is, of course, way more rough and tumble than your average public school. (Uh, unless we're talking about your average public high school in New York City.) The main character in this story is a fella named Pete, who has recently returned to the States after a stay in Northern Italy. Upon landing in the Big Apple he goes to meet up with an old pal of his whose character name I can't recall and isn't written on the back of the DVD. Turns out Pete's friend, along with his wife, runs and art school of sorts right out of his apartment. Interesting! Somehow this also affords the couple an "in" in the world of nudie photography and they quickly convince Pete to embark on a new, possibly lucrative, career of snapping photos of naked babes. Before long Pete morphs into a veritable Richard Kern of his day, hosting a seemingly endless array of willing models in his studio. Of course, up until this point we've only accounted for the beautiful and the bare so we all know they've got to work the bloody part into the story - and quick. (It kinda feels like that's how the scriptwriting session went too.) To this end we learn of Pete's adverse reaction to the color red. In short, it would seem that the color not only makes him go totally gongwipdu - a la the Lily Montgomery storyline on All My Children - it also makes him want to kill models. Which is ridiculous; mainly because stabbing people only leads to more red, not less. To make things more ridiculous, he wears a red sweater and sometimes seats his models on a red chair, yet neither of these items trigger his problem. At any rate, all of this ridiculousness ultimately climaxes into a climax of equal ridiculousness, and then the film ends. The second feature, Behind Locked Doors, is even more confusing and longwinded than it's predecessor - if you can believe that. (I just typed that sentence & I'm not even sure I believed it.) From the opening sequence, featuring a fifteen minute long hippies-partying-in-a-stranger's-barn party scene, to the final ending scene after the girls finally make their seemingly endless escape - which mind bogglingly contains scenes from the same party! - this one has more twists, turns, and totally non-sensical nonsense than you can imagine. It does have some good looking chicks in it though, which is probably what anyone would have come to this film looking to see in it's initial run in whichever Grindhouse theater it initially ran. Still, if you can completely suspend all rational thought for the 80 minute running time, this film is not without subtler charms. Rounding out the package are the ever present trailers and exploitation art galleries plus no less than four nudie cutie-esque shorts.
—Bunny
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