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Blood Car
[Fake Wood Wallpaper]
2007; color
Directed by Alex Orr
Starring: Mike Brune, Anna Chlumsky, Katie Rowlett & Matt Hutchinson
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Set in the near future, when gas cost just over $32 a gallon and everyone except for the ultra-ultra wealthy have abandoned their cars (except teens, who still have sex in them… in auto graveyards), we meet our hero / anti-hero Archie. He's a backpack wearing kindergarten teacher who writes things like "The Manhattan Project" or "Kyoto Treaty" on his classroom chalkboard and whose students answer questions in the form of a question as if they're on Jeopardy. He's also a vegan and an environmental crusader of sorts who spends his nights trying to develop an engine that runs on wheatgrass juice. He gets the juice every day at a stand (The Veggie-Table) run by a geeky-but-cute girl who has a huge crush on him. One day a meat stand (MEAT) opens up across the way from the veggie stand and the girl who runs it turns out to be a slutty, sex-crazed carnivore. Around the same time, Archie accidentally discovers that his experimental engine works on wheatgrass… as long as it's mixed with blood. Unfortunately, he soon discovers that it's gotta be human blood. Tapping himself as a source, he concocts enough fuel to get his long-dormant car running; which makes him immediately popular with the ladies. Especially the meat stand girl, who offers him crazy, wild sex in exchange for car rides. Fueled by lust, Archie soon ends up killing for gas and his life begins to unravel at a rapid rate. Even though the first pair of killings (which happen in quick succession) freak him out, he manages to have no problem doing it again and again. All the while the Feds have been monitoring his activities at a distance, keenly interested in the car. They actually take possession of the car a couple times, but each time Archie manages to get it back. Eventually Archie becomes overwhelmed by his vegan beliefs and pretty much flips out completely. After a wild, high-speed, all-night ride with the meat stand girl, he realizes it's Monday morning and he has to be at school. Just as he begins class, the men in black come in and escort him to a private meeting with an agent of some sort who basically makes Archie an offer he can't refuse. This leads to some of the more disturbing moments as well as a laugh out loud ending. (Well, we laughed at least. Actually, there were three or four laugh out loud moments.) Despite the aforementioned overabundance of backhanded political commentary Blood Car stays fresh, funny and, of course, bloody. Definitely worth seeking out.
—the Kommandant
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